The Nicest Doubles Partner

As the 1997 movie “Liar Liar” profoundly demonstrated, you cannot always tell the truth. It’s not that you have to lie, but there are situations in life that call for a slight distortion of the truth. For example, when your significant other asks you if you find one of their friends attractive.

You think, “Obviously! They’re extremely attractive.”

But you know that response would probably land you in the dog house. So instead, you pretend to deliberate, as if the thought had never occurred to you.

You say, “Umm, yeah, I suppose. I guess I can see why other people might find them attractive.”

You then look lovingly into the eyes of your partner, “But they’re just not my type.”

Your partner smiles and kisses you on the cheek. Whew … crisis averted.

Now, you probably wouldn’t have this conversation on the doubles court, but the need to carefully filter your thoughts, and express them in a way that is complimentary, as opposed to insulting, is a necessary tool to being a nice doubles partner. And you are the nicest doubles partner around, which is probably why your club has assigned you a terrible partner this afternoon. They know you’re the only person that can bear playing with him.

Oh well … might as well make the best of it.

The match
Your team won the racket spin and elected to serve first. The only question is, who’s actually going to serve first? You have a harder and more consistent serve than your partner. Clearly, it should be you.

You say, “Umm, you go ahead. You can serve first.”

You think to yourself, “Don’t even think about accepting my offer.”

You better say, “No, you can serve first.”

This is kind of like who will pick up the check at dinner. You may offer to pick up the check, but you really hope that your wealthy friend refuses your goodwill and picks it up themselves.

You have to give your partner the option to serve first, but he better not take it.

Uh oh … he took it! Well, maybe his serve is better than you thought? Nope.

After accepting your offer to serve first, he doubled-faults twice and gifts your opponents the first game of the match.

Ugh. 

But it’s okay because you have been hitting your forehand really well lately, and you are confident it will help you break right back!

But wait a second … will your partner give you the forehand side? On queue, he asks you which side you’d prefer.

You say, “I’m happy either way, but I’m a bit more comfortable on the deuce side.”

You think to yourself, “Dude, my forehand is 10 times better than yours. I’m taking the forehand side. Don’t you dare try to argue.”

Your partner takes the forehand side.

He told you that he has an extremely powerful forehand.  Powerful? Pshhh … sure it’s powerful, but has anyone one ever told him that consistency matters too?

Once every five forehands, he hits a winner, and looks at you with an arrogant, self-satisfied smirk. But the other four balls smack into the net or sail three feet long. After what feels like his 400th unforced error, he turns to you and apologizes.

You think, “Just get it in! I don’t care where you hit it. Just put it in the court!”

You say, “No, no, don’t worry. We all make mistakes … just have fun!”

In your view, it’s best to make your partner feel like you don’t care how poorly he plays and that you just want him to have a good time. Maybe he’ll feel a bit looser, and play better tennis.

This is what you tell yourself after all, besides, you would never criticize him. I mean, you are the nicest doubles partner at the club.

The aftermath
You fought valiantly and tried your best to make up for your partner’s shortcomings, but it wasn’t enough as you lost in straight sets. If only you had served first and taken the forehand side! But that’s not important. What’s important is that you were really nice and consistently said the “right thing” to your partner. That’s what matters. Right?

Before leaving the clubhouse that day, you pass by a framed photo of John McEnroe.

It had always been there, but you’d never really noticed it before. In the photo, Johnny Mac is animated, screaming at his doubles partner.

The plaque underneath the photo says that McEnroe won 78 Doubles Titles in his career, including nine Grand Slams. Hmm … Johnny Mac probably wasn’t the nicest doubles partner at his club.

Maybe you shouldn’t be so “nice” after all.