Butterflies Are Memory Makers

Tennis = Life

Anticipatory anxiety is a very common experience. Entering a new environment or playing in a challenging match with unfamiliar people can be all it takes to make you feel self-conscious and have these feelings come up. Everyone undergoes them; some people are more troubled by them than others.

These uncomfortable feelings are also a necessary obstacle to growth in tennis and in life, so re-framing them into something positive can be a great help. The butterflies in your stomach are memory makers!

Olympic athletes condition themselves to recognize anxiety as positive excitement. They understand the anxiety jitters that register in their body as a sign that they are about to do something meaningful, which in their case, is hopefully win a medal.

If you are not experienced enough yet to see your nerves in a positive light, there is a good chance your anxiety will turn into fear, and possibly panic. The pressure keeps building in your mind and the nerves will get worse and worse. The expectations you have for yourself are mainly made out of your own awareness, and they have kept you in denial of reality.

You have a secret!

Here are five remedies you could use that will help relieve the pressure cooker:

1) Tell someone!

Tell a trusted coach that you are a bit nervous. Tell a doubles partner who is likely in the same boat. Don’t keep it to yourself. The thoughts in your head will play a ping-pong match otherwise and continue to deliver these unpleasant feelings. The moment you tell someone, you will feel some relief.

2) Say it out loud

Once you say it out loud, even to yourself, it is out. The pressure releases. Use humor if you can. You know it is not a life-threatening situation, but just a tennis match. Isn’t it fascinating that you can get so worked up over it? What is the worst that can happen?

3) Write it down

Journaling your thoughts and feelings can also be very helpful, just to have them come out of your head and show up on paper, or in your phone. Just jot down that you are nervous, that you want to run for the hills, etc. “Mommy, I need my bottle and my blankie”

4) Make some power poses

Remember Rebecca in the show, ‘Ted Lasso’? Go to the bathroom and make yourself as tall as you possibly can. Stretch out and take up as much space as you possibly can. You deserve to be here, claim your spot! For some reason our physiology affects our mind, and vice versa. Act big and you will feel big! The victory pose will work as well.

5) Use anger

If you are fed up with being scared, anger can temporarily break through as a substitute for the courage you are disconnected from. In that same show, Ted Lasso, little Nate would look in the mirror and see a pathetic person. He would then call on his anger and spit at the mirror: “I am Nathan F@%#*% Shelly,” he would curse out.

What do any of these things do?

They break the denial, and they release the pressure. They connect you to yourself, and this will create the space for humor and opens up the options for problem solving. The energy that was trapped will now be released and can be used to be a hero.

Have a great match (if you want to).